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  • My anxiety is awful for me but worse for my boyfriend

    “I appreciate that he tries to understand my struggle with anxiety, but I wish he didn’t have to.”

    For myself with anxiety, my boyfriend is an enigma. He drives long distances, eats expired foods, phones to order take away and goes to crowded places, all without fear. When we went to see Star Wars, the movie, the character in front of the theatre didn’t make my boyfriend think of a mass shooter. Not me. I have anxiety and it’s sometimes crippling. The very thought of one terrible thing happening on my way to work will have me frantically googling such things as ‘does invisible mould exist?’

    According to the internet, it is my boyfriend that has to learn to deal with me, like I am some exotic houseplant and you are unsure how/when to water it. Plastered over millions of websites are articles admonishing the partners to be more understanding, accepting and tolerant. Statements such as “Learn everything you can about your partner’s condition,” The more you can make yourself able to have thick skin, the better it is.”

    My boyfriend and I have learned to internalize these messages. He has listened, learned and adapted. Once when I freaked as to whether the meat we had cooked was safe to eat, he simply bought me a thermometer so I could check for myself. His gentle encouragement in getting me to Google less outrageous notions and his growing to understand my weird thinking patterns is much appreciated. It doesn’t make me feel better at the fact he has to learn to understand me at all.

    When I do have a panic attack, it’s just about the worst thing I have ever felt regardless of that thing being no big deal at all. I do feel a sadness that my panic attacks have affected him. After one particular episode, he broke down in tears through the frustration that my brain just could allow me to enjoy myself.

    It is also embarrassing. During the attack, I don’t care how I look or how ‘crazy’ I am being but after I seethe with shame. I am constantly terrified of being dramatic. One time I was on a plane, I became so scared that I started breathing into a paper bag-I don’t know why I just know I saw it once in a movie. My anxiety isn’t my fault. It is hard to see it that way when you have to leave the cinema part way through a space movie because the notion of space being that big scares you. It is also hard when I tell myself just to love my boyfriend that little bit more than I could snap out of this and make everything better for him.

    Rationally thinking, I know my anxiety is part of who I am. It does affect how I treat people and how I react, and sometimes it just feels really awful. But sometimes it makes me more empathetic, like when my boyfriend/best friend is nervous or sad because I know better than most how that feels and what it takes to relieve that stressor. I don’t get mad or lose my temper when someone can’t bring themselves to do something or even talk to me about it.

    My anxiety is just a part of me. I believe in therapy, meditation, medication, or whatever makes you feel more grounded. It doesn’t matter how hard I try, I will always just be an anxious person and just like any other personality trait, someone has, anxiety is just that: a train. It is something to be aware of, listen to and talk about but it is something you can live with.

    People with anxiety are not a monolith. The best advice for dating an anxious person comes from that.

  • Mental health is not Halloween entertainment

    Despite it being 2016 we still need to say that mental health disorders are not Halloween inspirations.

    Year after year we see some form of mocking mental disability whether it be last year’s inappropriate costumes in supermarkets to this year’s park attractions depicting mental health as nothing more than a sick joke.

    Over in America, there have been two largely publicized offensive displays using mental health for public mockery. Knott’s Berry Farm, a theme park in California, recently removed their new attraction ‘Fear VR’ after criticism from mental health advocates. The virtual reality horror show featured a young psychiatric patient with so-called ‘demonic powers’ Originally the attraction was going to be called FearVR 51050, the Californian code for involuntary Psychiatric sectioning. Parent company Cedar Fair closed the attraction and release the following statement;

    “Over the past week, we have heard from a number of people expressing concern that one of our temporary Halloween attractions  ‘Fear VR’ is hurtful to those who suffer from mental illnesses. Contrary to some traditional and social media accounts, the attraction’s story and presentation were never intended to portray mental illness.”

    Halloween is synonymous with scary displays and the cultural viewpoint that mental illness can be portrayed as entertainment. Films and costumes perpetuate the myth that mental illness is something to fear and be disgusted by. This type of inaccuracy and negativity does more than just stigmatize those with mental health issues, it could have a ripple effect on future generations.
    Another recent exhibit called ‘psycho-path Haunted Asylum’ by Six Flags New England branch was shut down. The park’s display showed a doctor showcasing his most ‘insane and twisted patients. Change.org petitioned for the attraction to be shut down noting-
    “It explicitly supports dehumanizing portrayal and treatment of people given psychiatric diagnoses and those who seek support from psychiatric services.”
    Six Flags have since removed the original attraction, revamping it, and renaming it The Forgotten Laboratory.

    “Fright Fest has been delighting our guests with smiles and screams for over twenty years. Our intent is never to offend our guests. To mitigate any sensitive concerns, we opted to reintroduce our new haunt attraction under a different theme.”


    Whilst it is worth noting these parks have listened and amended their attractions, it is also important to look into how they opened in the first place. Some experts say that it is a sign that those with mental health issues are continuously stigmatized in society.
    What can society do to move forward?
    Beyond being politically correct or avoiding hurt feelings there is strong evidence that false stereotypes can be severely damaging. Research surrounding misconceptions shows that it can, and does, prevent people from seeking help and support when they need it most. Medical support abates symptoms of psychological disorders, such as headaches, negative thoughts, hallucinations and sleep loss. Left untreated mental health conditions are a major factor in suicides.
    Instead of berating these companies, these incidents should serve as lessons.

    “Given that Cedar Fair has closed its exhibit as a result of our advocacy … I wouldn’t call it a debacle. For me, the takeaway is that advocacy works. We stood up for what was right and we were heard.”

    However, we must not blame the entertainment sector for its misconceptions. Society still has a lot to learn. The best way has always remained the same increase awareness and education. Individually we can learn from reading about others’ experiences and becoming familiar with the simple fact that psychological disorders are common: nearly one in five will experience it in their lives. Most with mental health issues lead full lives.

    “Fear comes from ignorance. We need a more enlightened general public.” -Rogers.

  • Ten facts about how your brain works

    How we think our brain works isn’t always how it does.

    I have always thought that multi-tasking was the most efficient way I could complete more tasks in the same amount of time. However, according to the latest research, it is literally impossible for your brain to handle more than one task at a time.

    Recently I have discovered ten more fascinating facts about our brain and how it functions.

    1. Your brain is more creative when you are tired

    If you are trying to do creative work, chances are that you will be far more productive at the end of the day when you are tired. It is why often you have some of your best ideas in that bath before bed.

    When tired, your brain isn’t as good at focusing, blocking out distractions and making connections between common concepts which is ideal for being creative and making new connections. Being tired helps the mind open up to ideas that the focused mind doesn’t allow to filter through. So, a fuzzy brain is vastly more useful when you are trying to be creative.

    1. Stress can reduce the size of your brain

    Stress is actually the most common cause of brain function changes.

    A study involving rats found that in those exposed to chronic stress, the Hippocampus in their brains actually shrank. The Hippocampus is the integral part that forms memories. It has previously been debated that those with PTSD have shrunken Hippocampi. Further studies could point to stress as a major factor in changes in our brains.

    1. Multitasking is literally impossible

    When we think we are multitasking, we are actually context-switching (rapidly changing from one thing to another). The problem with multitasking is that we are splitting our brains resources giving less focus and attention on completing one task correctly to semi-completing several badly. Research shows your rate of mistake making when doing more than one thing at a time is fifty per cent.

    1. Naps improve brain function

    Alongside our regular night’s sleep taking naps are actually really useful. A forty-minute nap can improve memory and increase learning with the ability to absorb information correctly.

    The right side of the brain is more active during a nap than the left side. 95% of the population are right-handed and left-brained so whilst this side of the brain relaxes during sleep the right side is there cleaning up storing things to short/long term memory and solidifying your memories for that day.

    1. Vision trumps all senses

    One of our five senses, vision takes precedence over all the others. If you hear a piece of information three days later you will be able to recall about ten per cent. If you see a picture with some information you will be able to recall about sixty-five per cent three days later. It is surprising that we rely on our vision so much when it isn’t even that good!

    “Our brain is doing all this guessing because it doesn’t know where things are. In a three-dimensional world, the light actually falls on our retina in a two-dimensional fashion. So our brain approximates viewable image.”

    1. Introverts and extroverts come from the wiring in our brains

    Introversion and extroversion are not actually related to how outgoing or shy we are but how our brains recharge. Research has shown that the differences come from how we process stimuli. For extroverts, the process is shorter. The pathway rind through the area where touch, taste and visual and auditory sensory processing takes place. For introverts, stimuli run a long pathway, especially in areas associated with remembering, problem-solving and planning.

    1. We prefer people who make mistakes

    Making mistakes tend to increase your likeability due to the Pratfall effect.

    Mr Lee explains how this works;

    “Those who never make mistakes are perceived as less likeable than those who make the occasional faux pas. Making mistakes makes us more human and allows people to not feel threatened by us. Perfection creates distance.”

    A theory that was tested involved a group of people listening to another taking a quiz. Half of those taking the quiz was asked to spill their coffee at some point during the experiment. The participants that we listening to the event we asked to rate the quizzers on likability. Those who had spilt their coffee came higher than those who didn’t.

    1. Meditation can rewire your brain

    Lessen anxiety. The more we practice meditation the less anxiety we have because we are loosening the connections of particular neural pathways. It has been proven that anxiety and agitation levels decrease with just twenty minutes of meditation.

    Increase creativity. Researchers at Leiden University, Netherlands, studied focused attention and open-monitoring meditation to see if there were any improvements in creativity levels afterwards. Those who did open-monitoring meditation were found to be more creative and better at thinking up new ideas than the other group.

    Increased memory. Those who practice mindful meditation are more likely to have rapid memory recall because they can easily filter out distractions and increase self-productivity.

    Meditation has also been linked to increasing compassion, decreasing stress, improving memory skills and even increasing the amount of grey matter in the brain.

    1. Exercise can boost willpower and reorganize the brain

    There is a link between exercise and mental alertness, it works in the same way as exercise is related to happiness. When you start exercising your brain recognizes this as a moment of stress. As your heart pressure increases it leads your brain into thinking fight or flight. Your body protects itself by releasing a protein called Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor or BDNF. This has a protective and repairing element to your memory neurons which act as a reset switch. Of course, as we all know, endorphins are released through exercise which increases mood.

    “These endorphins tend to minimize the discomfort of exercise, block the feeling of pain and are even associated with a feeling of euphoria.”

    McGovern, A researcher

    1. Make time slow down by doing new things

    Do you ever find yourself asking where the time goes or where the year has gone? This little trick relates to the hour our brains perceive time. Essentially the brain takes in the information and organizes it in a way we understand. But not all information comes in order, it is up to the brain to categorize it so that we can make use of this information. So, our sense of time is merely a list of things we need to order. New information takes a longer period of time to sort than regular information does thus making absorption time feel elongated. The newer things we do the longer time will last.

    When we’re in life-threatening situations, for instance:

    “We remember the time as longer because we record more of the experience. Life-threatening experiences make us really pay attention, but we don’t gain superhuman powers of perception.”

  • 12 week psychic, spiritual and self awareness course

    Get connected with Martine Wakefield

    Martine Wakefield has had an interest in psychic awareness and spiritualism since a young age.psychic awareness

    For the past thirty-five years, Martine has studied, trained and practised in various aspects of psychic awareness and spiritual awareness and now Martine has decided that it’s time to share her knowledge and run a weekly workshop from the clinic which is held on Monday evenings or Friday mornings.

    The course will include:

    • Using your own intuition daily
    • Connecting with your higher self
    • Learning how to heal yourself and others
    • How to do simple readings using colours
    • How to connect with your guides (spirit team)
    • See how you perceive things
    • Change the things you don’t like
    • Understand how chakras work
    • Connect with the universe using drums
    • Understand how to develop your psychic awareness

    Oh..! And did you know thoughts become things? Change your thoughts and change your life forever…..

    What is psychic awareness?

    The word psychic comes from the ancient Greek word psyche it can be translated to mean:
    “the soul;  mind;  spirit;  breath;  life;  one’s life;  the invisible animating principle or entity which occupies and directs the physical body;  understanding”

    In some ways gaining psychic awareness is akin to reconnecting with our natural instinct. We see psychic awareness in animals so why not in ourselves?
    Have you ever had a ‘gut instinct’ either to do or not do something? What about the last time you felt you just had to call someone only to find they were about to call you?

    When is it?

    Every Monday starting 23rd January 2017, 7 – 9 pm

    Every Friday morning starting 27th January 2017, 10.30 am -12.30 pm

    Where is it?

    The Devon Clinic, 30a Hyde Road, Paignton, Devon, TQ4 5BY

    How much does it cost?

    £7.50 per week per session.
    There are a maximum 12 people allowed on the course so please book early to avoid disappointment.

    A cynics story

    My personal roots are those of a builder and all this psychic stuff can sometimes sit a bit uncomfortably with me.
    Over the years I have become more open-minded but to be honest I’m still a bit sceptical. I was reminded of one of my pet dogs, a beautiful Collie called Sheba while writing this article. Here’s a self-confessed cynics’ take on the world of the psychic.

    Way back before setting up the clinic I lived in rural in Herefordshire, I worked un-regular hours and yet whenever I got home there was always a cup of hot coffee waiting for me. How did my other half know when to put the kettle on if my finish time could vary by up to two hours every day? Did my wife possess some kind of psychic awareness unbeknown to me??
    Well, we had a dog called Sheba, she used to wake up if she was asleep and always get agitated 30 minutes before I got home. This happened every single day I was at work. Ten minutes before I got home she would settle by the door gently wagging her tail – every day.
    It used to take me exactly 30 minutes to get from work to home. So for a week, I logged the time I left work and my wife logged the time Sheba started getting agitated. It was spot on every day…. If that’s not psychic awareness then what is?

    Sounds odd? Check out this experiment

     

    There are stories all over YouTube and the Google about how animals do these amazing things, the problem is that because it¬†is an animal we tend to dismiss it and put it down to the animals sixth sense. My argument is that if an animal can do it then why not us? We may be at the top of the food chain and have amazing powers of logic but we are animals, after all, let’s not forget that.

    If you are interested in learning more about your spiritual side and developing your psychic abilities then simply fill out the form below or you can contact Martine personally on 07776 134274

     

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  • Get connected drumming with Martine Wakefield

    The benefits of drumming

    The scientific facts

    Drumming synchronises the left and right brain, Drumming accesses the whole brain. The sound of drumming generates dynamic neuronal connections in all parts of the brain even where there is significant damage or impairment such as ADD.

    The more connections that can be made within the brain, the more integrated our experiences become. There is no age limit on drumming.

     

    Altered state

    Drumming induces natural altered states of consciousness which have a wide range of therapeutic applications. A brief session of drumming can double Alpha brain wave activity dramatically, reducing stress. The brain changes from Beta waves to Alpha waves producing feelings of euphoria and well being. Alpha activity is associated with meditation.

    The actual physical vibration of the drum plays a huge part in the healing process. The vibration penetrates our own energy field and gently pushes against emotions thoughts and feelings that no longer serve us which enables us to release them.

    After a session of drumming, you will most definitely feel lighter and more in control of your own life.

    It is also a wonderful way to get connected.

     

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  • We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.

    How much control do you really have in life?

    You don’t have to be a Dolly Parton fan to get the point: whichever way the wind blows, it’s up to us how we respond. There’s much about the world that we can’t control, but there’s one thing we can be sure of: things don’t stand still, there’s always change whether we like it or not. It’s not about ‘giving in’ or ‘giving up’, it’s more about accepting what is and making the very best of it! Coaching can really help you ‘adjust your sails’ so why not book a taster coaching session with me?

    I’m offering half price (£22.50 instead of £45) on your first session if you book before the end of July!

    Andrew Lacey, Life Coach

     

  • Volunteers’ Week 2016

     

    Volunteers week

    (The) Torbay Community Development Trust are holding a Volunteer’s week in Torbay this June (1st-12th). This years theme is volunteers’ and their well-being. The Devon Clinic has been invited to share our services during this important week. We will be offering free taster sessions in relaxation, stress management, healthy eating and pampering (e.g. head massages and reflexology).

    Here at the Devon Clinic we aim to provide a relaxing atmosphere where clients can access a comprehensive list of alternative therapies. All of our self-employed staff are fully qualified, insured and possess a full DBA check. We offer a range of treatments from beauty and massage, hypnotherapy through to counselling, as well as allergy testing, chiropractic and acupuncture and lots more, please see our treatments page for more details. We also run training courses in hypnotherapy and hold regular sleep well clinics.

    So, if you are a volunteer come along to the Devon Clinic CIC at 30A Hyde Road and try some treatments for yourself.

  • Stretch yourself

    How Often do you stretch yourself?

    Yesterday evening I attended an International Coaching Federation event at Buckfast Abbey, alongside
    more than 90 other coaches, which just goes to show that coaching is alive and well in the South-West! The theme was ‘stretch’. We can be in one of three zones: at one end ‘comfort’ (nice, sometimes, but we don’t really grow or develop here); at the other end ‘panic’ (not great and hard to function); but in the middle ‘stretch’ (where change can happen).  Check out The Stretch Zone for Motivation to Change ‚ and if you want to find out more then, book a coaching session with me!

     

  • How to control anger effectively

    Anger Management

    Anger is a result of feeling frustrated, insulted, deceived or even under attack. For many, anger is a natural reaction that passes quickly. In some instances, however, it can become a difficult emotion to control. Health issues linked to unresolved anger include high blood pressure, heart attack, depression, anxiety, colds, flu and problems with digestion.

    The general advice given for anger management includes counting to ten and breathing slowly as counting to 10 gives you time to cool down so you can think more clearly and overcome the impulse to lash out while breathing out longer than breathing in, and relax as you breathe out will help calm you down effectively and help you think more clearly. Bring down your general stress levels with exercise and relaxation. Running, walking, swimming, yoga and meditation are just a few of the activities that can help reduce stress. Although these treatments are useful and effective, they are often short-lived.

    Because of this, people who become angry are often in search of ways and treatments to help their case in the long run.

    There are private courses and therapists who can help with anger issues. Make sure any therapist you see is registered with a professional organisation.

    Hypnotherapy has proven to be an effective way to control angry outbursts. The initial aim of the hypnotherapist will be to understand the root cause of your anger will work on a conscious and unconscious level to help change your negative thought processes and hopefully, this will achieve a difference in your reaction to anger triggers. Feeling calmer in stressful situations helps you think more clearly so you can react more appropriately.

    Most anger management involves learning forms of stress management, these techniques will help reduce the triggers that bring about anger in the first place.

     

  • Bear Grills; Bowen Technique

    BowenBowen Technique

    Twelve years ago Bear, then aged 21 broke his back whilst training with the SAS after his parachute failed to inflate at 16,000 feet. Bear landed on his parachute pack and fractured three vertebrae.

    “I should have cut the main parachute and gone to the reserve but I thought there was enough time to resolve the problem.”

    Bear was treated in Surrey, avoiding surgery, he undertook hours of intense physiotherapy, swimming, stretching and ultrasound treatment.

    “I was still suffering from twinges and pains.”

    Deep massage helped but he always felt physically unbalanced by his injury. A year ago his wife suggested he see a Bowen therapist.

    The Bowen technique, developed in the 1950s, involves using rolling movements over the muscles, ligaments and tendons. It is said to send impulses to the brain to trigger the body’s own healing.

    Like many whom seek alternative treatments Bear was skeptical. He went to see an East Sussex based Bowen therapist, Sarah Yearsley.

    “With the slightest squiggle of her fingers, it felt like petrol was being put back in my tank and I could feel all the stress seeping away. More importantly, after my back accident, my spine and pelvis had lost alignment, so I felt unbalanced.”

    The therapist explained that his pelvis was slightly twisted and that this would cause him endless problems without treatment. Bear now attends monthly Bowen appointments and has felt the positive results.