The Devon Clinic

Tag: stress

Stress Awareness Week 2020

Managing your stress levels and mental health has never been so important as we battle our way through and out the other side of Covid-19. These new and often scary challenges are of major concern to organisations as well as individuals.

International Stress Awareness week 2020 or #StressAwarenessWeek

Is a week filled with articles, hashtags, personal stories, developments, reports and statistics highlighting the impact our mental health has upon our everyday living. It will provide new tools, diagnostic pathways for support and hopefully make you feel that you are not alone.

Almost one in five adults, that’s almost 20%, are thought to have experienced some form of depression during the lockdown in June of this year. Compared to the period before (July 2019 to March 2020) when numbers were about one in ten.
Stress and anxiety are described as the top two most common areas in which adults experience some form of depression.

International Stress Awareness Week

The development of the week came as an expansion of Stress Awareness Day founded in 1998. Ten years later, in 2018, the awareness week was created to approach stress from a preventative angle rather than a curative one.

This year the event will address the following subjects;

o People’s experiences with mental health challenges and what can be done to support them
o How employers are responding to mental health issues and what can we learn from them
o Campaign against mental health stigma
o The importance of stress management professionals in alleviating stress with practical and proven reliance techniques
o Further actions in light of the pandemic
o Ensuring those suffering know where to seek support

Doing Our Bit

Here at the clinic, we have been helping our community since we became a community interest company or CIC back in 2014. What this means is that instead of pocketing profits, we give them to the community. Over the years, we have done this through providing affordable, low-cost and free services.

When the lockdown came, it put most of our practitioners at a loose end because they couldn’t see many of their clients. Instead of resting on our laurels, we decided to set up a free talking therapy service.

In the beginning, people were hesitant to call but as soon as word got around the calls came in thick and fast. Our practitioners stepped up to the mark, never turning anyone away. For three months, we answered over 70 calls accumulating over 150 hours of FREE mental health support.
Social prescribers have personally thanked us for reducing mental health waiting times. Our therapists have been commended for their telephone and video therapy sessions to such an extent that some clients have asked to be removed from waiting lists for mental health support.

We didn’t Stop There

Once we were able to return to The Devon Clinic in Hyde Road, we set about gaining funding to enable our practitioners to return to work and continue their vital community support work. After several rejected applications, we applied to the National Lottery. We were granted funding bt the Lottery Awards for All program to provide mental health support to the residents of Torbay adversely affected by Covid.
We are proud to be in the position of being able to provide Six Funded Talking Therapy Sessions funded by the National Lottery Awards For All.

You can find out more about our funded talking therapy sessions and how to apply HERE.

To this day and in light of the recent nationwide restrictions, we will continue to provide where possible access to a reduced rate, part and fully funded talking therapy sessions for those adversely affected by Covid. Please contact us either by telephone 01803 500300, email reception@devonclinic.co.uk or by completing the form below.

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03/11/2020
Has Your sleep Gone out of sync?

Have you found your set sleep and wake routine becoming blurred? You are not alone.

Before I started working from home, I had a rather strict sleep routine. During the week I went to bed no later than 10.30 pm and woke up at 8 am. In the morning I would get up, get ready for work and leave by 8.40 am. Now, no two days are the same. Some nights I do go to bed at 10, others its 2 am. In the mornings, I can be awake at six or struggle to pull myself out at 8.55 to sign on to the system for 9 am. The days I have to force myself out of bed I spend in a confused haze, usually in nightwear and a cardigan.

The days and nights blur, and as it is light until almost 9, it is hard to shift to night mode. Add to that the constant anxiety and negative press at every turn, I shouldn’t be surprised I’m finding routine tough, but I am. And I am not alone either.

Over the past couple of months, millions have moved to work from home to prevent the spread of Coronavirus. For many, the experience has profoundly impacted their routines.

“I sometimes wake up at 4, or 5 am even if I go to bed at 11 or 12, and I’m busy homeschooling three small children,” my friend said during a video call as she made dinner for her family. She went on to say that other days her children come in to wake her, which can be anytime from 6-10 am! “I sometimes just lay there in bed for hours unable to fall asleep.”

Many therapists have noticed the rise in clients reporting that they are having trouble sleeping.

They note that even those that are used to working remotely or even from home are struggling. New challenges such as having their partner or children around, not being able to go outside, stress and anxiety about the constant influx of negative news and worries about family and friends are making things harder.

Managing these stressors has led people to stay up later or snacking at odd times. These are normal responses, but they do wreak havoc on the circadian rhythm-the process that regulates the natural sleep-wake cycle.

When I told a therapist that I’ve been doing just that-sleeping later in the morning to compensate for late nights, I was told not to do this. The therapist said to me that within a week, you’d be used to this pattern, so it is better to get up at your regular time. They advised to avoid napping and nighttime news (to avoid extra stress/worry) and to exercise in the morning sun as it gives energy.

Sunlight is key to sleep

Sunlight is the number one factor that affects our circadian rhythm. It lets our body know when to wake up and go to sleep, so being inside all of the time can disrupt the signals. Food also plays a part, so if you have been snacking more than usual close to bedtime, it can also play a role in why you are having a harder time going to sleep.

Above all, hold on to whatever normalcy you can. Eat, sleep, shower, work, exercise as you did before Coronavirus. If you live with others, try to get them to follow the same routine so that you aren’t all fighting different zones of the day/night.

If you are struggling, reach out. You can speak to one of our therapists for free. Contact us here, and we will put you in touch with someone.

Remember, you cannot control the virus, how long you have to stay at home, the news or the economy. But you can control when you sleep and wake, how you manage your day and what you do with those negative feelings. Control what you can, keep an open dialogue and don’t be hard one yourself if something doesn’t go quite to plan.

27/04/2020
Hidden Anger

There is a thin line between anger and fear

We all have a way of playing draining board Jenga. Some delicately arrange items in specific pre-thought out ways while others precariously create a balancing act of which the slightest breeze will resemble a cliff crashing into the sea. So, when I reached to adjust a cup and a bowl the other day, I knew I was pretty much picking a fight with my other half. Was my reaction a display of hidden anger?

Their response worried me more than any snap comeback would have. Instead of telling me to go away, they apologised! What made it worse was in that moment I realised that this had been happening a lot in the past few weeks. They apologised for the dishes, the hoover, for noise when I was working, even for the dogs.

Why was I worried about this? Because as someone with an anger management issue, I have learned that when a loved one starts to apologise for small things, the problem isn’t them, it’s me and my anger.

Now, I don’t think I am alone in noticing the fact that being cooped up at home has the potential to create ugly tensions. Unchecked and unresolved nit-picks can evolve into major issues creating tension and arguments, and it isn’t like we can go anywhere to cool off.

Isolation and Anger

Hidden in the almost impossibly inescapable deluge of COVID-19 news stories we hear about the dangerous impact of imposed quarantine on our mental and physical health, especially those in abusive relationships. But even those of us who don’t fit the typical definition of ‘abusive partner’, the current situation poses some risk. Yet we aren’t taken seriously.

You may have heard or even used the term cabin fever to express your feelings. Although not an official condition symptoms include feelings of isolation, resentment, mood swings and irrational outbursts.

We, as a society, have a complex relationship with anger. Throughout life we are to control and manage it. We learn that getting or being angry is a character flaw, but that isn’t always true. Power and success derived from positive anger is often rewarded.

So, What is Anger?

Generally speaking, there are three types of anger; Passive Aggression, Open Aggression and Assertive Anger.

Passive Aggression is the indirect expression of anger by a person unable or uncomfortable to express hurt feelings honestly or openly. -Moving items on the draining board because I can instead of telling my boss that I am angry about his email.

Open Aggression comes from a need to be in control. A person may tend to lash out verbally or physically and can hurt themselves or others.

Assertive anger is the best way to communicate feelings of anger. For example, telling a person, “I feel angry when you do that…” is assertive anger. The feelings pressed but in a non-threatening way.

The Evolution of Anger

To scientists, it sounds obvious, but anger reminds us that like any other behaviour or emotion, it exists today because it is proven to be advantageous. Fear alerts us to danger, rumblings of the stomach to hunger, and anger to injustice.

Anger is commonly thought to have origins within the fight or flight mechanism-there to save our lives. Response to anger depends on personal perception; what may highly greave one may unfazed another. Philosopher Aristotle observed that anger was connected with the idea of right and wrong, so alongside that and personal emotions, ethics play a large part in anger.

What My Anger Looks Like

During my teens, I would unleash my anger physically on my younger brother until I learned an interesting trick. As my anger level rose to boiling point, I could swallow it. Psychologists call this suppression. It has been studied and is thought to cause a variety of psychological and physical ailments alongside anger.

Over the years, this tendency has shown itself in some ugly ways and tested all those around me. I nit-pick, argue over the smallest things and sulk. It turns out I’d have been better off just letting it out on a punching bag or using constructively to get ahead. It would have saved relationships, and quite a few friendships had I not let my niggles take over what really mattered.

Anger and Control

Assertive anger, when used correctly, is a good thing, but when the control has been removed, it can be very dangerous. Heightened situations such as the one we are currently in, has removed large areas of this control aspect, specifically the freedom of movement. Subsequently, this has caused great changes in daily living and behaviour.

So, what happens when your entire life has changed beyond your control, and only anger is there to support you internally?

Recognise, interpret, and address

I recognise I’m angry because cannot go for a drive. I realise that I am angry because the current situation means I must stay at home; therefore, I cannot just go for a drive, but I understand why (interpret). Instead of sitting here or nit-picking at my partner (or the dogs), I will clear some space and try an exercise video I’ve seen online (address).

Simply put, recognise the feelings, listen to them and their reasoning, and change what you can.

Everyone over the past few months has felt some degree of anger; what they have chosen to do with it is very individual. Regardless of social media posts, not everyone is taking advantage of unexpected “free time” to learn new skills. As someone who is just trying to survive this and not drive those around me and myself to the brink of all-out war, I am learning still learning that just because I don’t burst out my shirt like Hulk doesn’t mean I don’t have an anger issue. For me, recognising the small passive things that I do are signs of regaining my self-control.

Returning to the fight or flight mechanism inside us all-anger is never far from fear. Right now, we are bombarded with both fear, so if you start to feel it, that’s okay. It’s normal to feel strong emotions (negative or positive); it is what we do with them that holds the key to our success.

If you would like to talk about your thoughts, worries and feelings, please contact us to be put in touch with a talking therapist via our free COVID-19 Talking Therapy Service.

21/04/2020
Anxiety Induced Procrastination
Five commonly misunderstood types of procrastination

Anxiety and procrastination go hand in hand. Often when we feel anxious about something, we put it off. This can be obvious to some, especially those experiencing it. For example, you might put off taking that driving test because you are scared of failing or getting hurt whilst driving. However, the link between anxiety and procrastination is not always clear to sufferers and those around them.

Below are five types of anxiety-related procrastination often misunderstood and or overlooked. While reading each, think about any tasks you are putting off and see if they fit into one of those categories.

At the end, we will explain the importance of acknowledging them and how it can help you with your anxiety.
1. Blaming someone else for your inaction
Typically anxiety manifests in two ways; anger and hopelessness. If there is something you are putting off due to anxiety, you may find yourself blaming others for your inactions instead of acknowledging the anxiety.

To an extent, there might be others contributing to your problem, but honing in on this can obscure your responsibility providing you with the ultimate excuse of not being proactive. You still need to partake in active behaviours even if they feel stressful and anxiety-inducing.
1. Anxiety surrounding a task you have successful experience performing
People can get anxious completing tasks they have done successfully many times before. This mainly happens when they have not done those tasks for some time; the stakes are higher, there is an audience, or the evaluation process has changed.

If this happens to you, notice when you become anxious and ask yourself what makes it feel different this time? To aid identification, think about the basic skills involved such as filling in a form, your surroundings, preparation, the journey, studying for a test/exam, the people, and domain.

To support yourself and overcome the feelings of anxiety, you can reel off the objective evidence of your skills and past successes. Often proving to yourself that you have achieved this many times before will outweigh the negativity.
1. The anxiety of a small aspect blocks you’re entire progress
You may not feel edgy, nervous or anxious about all aspects of a task; it could be one element or little point. For example, you want to make a phone call. Talking itself isn’t particularly nerve-wracking but dialling that number and waiting for the person to answer is.

It is scenarios like these where people label themselves as being anxious about specific tasks when, in fact, it is only 10% of the process they find anxious. Being able to see things clearly, it can help create balanced thinking enabling empowerment.
1. Feelings of strong resentment about having to do the task at all
Anxiety can get camouflaged when other strong emotions are more dominant. Anger and blame, as mentioned earlier, are common. Another is resentment about having to do something because you need to that isn’t about a specific person.

For instance, you may feel resentment about doing part of a task because to you, it feels like a complete waste of your time, or you have to comply with a system that doesn’t feel fair, logical or caring. When an anxious person feels like a system doesn’t work for them, it can trigger senses of not fitting in. Another anxious person may feel they need to comply entirely with all the rules and procedures of the system, which can trigger anxiety about achievement and perfectionism.
1. Your anxiety is manifesting as perfectionism
Anxious people sometimes respond to anxiety with perfectionism. When there is something they want to get precisely right, they might design it so detailed that it is way over the top. This turns a perfectly manageable task into one that feels completely overwhelming, thus triggering procrastination. However, the anxious person does not see their approach as overly complicated. They do not realise that the basic task given to them is not nearly as complicated as they have turned it into.

Why acknowledging anxiety can help

If you have diagnosed anxiety, you probably have some coping strategies to help you move past the moment. If you do not have any strategies, then we can support you in creating a custom plan. There are also books and online resources which offer support and guidance.

Anxiety management strategies, for instance, may take the form of breaking down a task into smaller pieces to make it more manageable. You may still feel anxious, but by doing smaller parts of the job allows you to manage your levels more effectively. Many find exercising or listening to music beneficial when completing tasks they find particularly challenging.

If you find yourself blaming others for your procrastination, acknowledging the role of your anxiety can help you take self-responsibility. Talking about your anxiety can help you have productive conversations about issues that need resolving, such as when you are making joint decisions with those closest to you. Expressing vulnerability can trigger others to respond in more caring ways so long as you do not overuse the strategy.

Acknowledgement is empowering and can enable you to become self-compassionate. Instead of beating yourself up for procrastinating, treat yourself kindly over what works well for you. There are times when asking for support to get you through anxiety-provoking tasks is appropriate, especially in areas you tend to shy away from.

The Devon Clinic offers Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, often known as CBT, Counselling, Coaching and hypnotherapy to support those with anxiety. For further information please complete the form below or contact us directly on 01803 500300 | email: reception@devonclinic.co.uk.

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14/08/2019
Protecting Your Brain From Stress
Stress Management Can Protect Your Brain

Typically, related to cognitive problems and a higher risk of developing Dementia and Alzheimer’s disease

It is not uncommon to feel forgetful and disorganised when stressed but over a long period of time stress may change your brain which can affect memory.

Studies in both animals and animals show clearly that stress can affect brain function. Scientists have seen changes in how the brain processes information during a period of real-life and manufactured stress. (In the latter, researchers challenge participants to perform difficult tasks such as counting backwards in 13s whilst being graded on performance).

Either type of stress interferes with cognition, memory, and attention. – Dr Kerry Ressler, chief scientific officer, McLean Hospital and professor of psychiatry, Harvard Medical School.

Stress not only affects memory as well as other brain functions like moods and anxiety but also promotes inflammation which adversely affects heart health, says Jill Goldstein, professor of psychiatry, at Harvard Medical School. Thus, stress has associations with chronic diseases of the brain and heart. The effects are different for men and women.

Stress And The Brain

To understand why stress affects our brain, it is important to understand how the brain works. The brain is not a single unit, but a group of different parts that each performs different tasks, says Dr Ressler.

Researchers believe that when a part of your brain is engaged other parts may not have much energy to perform their own vital tasks. For example; If you are in a dangerous situation, the Amygdala – the part that governs survival instincts, may take over leaving the parts of your brain that store memories and perform high order tasks with less ability to perform their role. The logic behind this is that the brain has switched into survival mode thus is shutting down non-essential resources (including memory). Therefore, after a traumatic event or prolonged high stress, you may become more forgetful.

The effects of stress on the brain and body may differ depending on when it occurs during a person’s life, says Goldstein. Gonadal hormones are secreted in large amounts during fetal development, puberty, and pregnancy and depleted during menopause and may play a role in how stress affects individuals.

For example; Reductions in the Gonadal hormone Estradiol during menopausal transition may change how the brain reacts to stress, Goldstein.

Protecting Yourself From Damaging Stress

To better cope with stress, consider factors that can minimise stress. Here are some tips that can help you better manage stress levels and hopefully prevent some of the damaging effects it can have on the brain:
- Establish Some Control
If stress is not predictable, focus on the things that are. Having a routine is not only good for development but also for health. Predictability combats stress, says Dr Ressler.
- Sleep Well
Stress can result in poor sleep which, in turn, can make stress even worse. Sleep deprivation makes sections of the brain that handle high order functions less efficient. Healthy sleep habits can help the brain function better. This includes good sleep hygiene and going to bed/waking up at the same time, avoiding caffeine, removing screens, and creating a relaxing bedroom atmosphere free from distraction.
- Be Organised
Have strategies in place to manage your workload. For example, create a daily, to-do list of tasks you need to accomplish. This way, you won’t feel so overwhelmed. Creating lists also give you clear direction from start to finish. Laying tasks out like this helps reduce feelings of bombardment, says Dr Ressler.
- If You Need It, Get Help
Reaching out can help you build resilience and better-coping strategies, which ultimately protect the health of your brain. Early intervention may reduce disability caused by stress-related complications in later life.
- Change Your Attitude
A life without stress is not only impossible but would also be incredibly uninteresting in fact, a certain degree of stress is vital for growth says, Ressler. Rather than aiming for zero stress, strive for healthy responses to stress.
- Long-Term Brain Changes
According to Ressler, there is evidence that chronic or persistent stress can rewire your brain. Scientists have learned that animals under prolonged stress have less activity in areas of the brain that control high order tasks; for example, the Prefrontal Cortex and more activity in areas of the brain that focus on survival the Amygdala. To simplify; if you were to exercise one part of your body it would become stronger than the non-exercised parts which inevitably would become weaker. This is what appears to happen in the brain when under continuous stress.

These changes, in some circumstances, can be revered according to Ressler. Whilst stressful childhood experiences seem to take more of a toll on the developing brain, research has found that many who demonstrate resilience in the face of previous trauma have developed new brain mechanisms to compensate. It is thought that these new pathways aid in recovery from stress-related brain changes that were formed in early life.

Is stress Created Equal?

While the effects on the brain are well documented, it is less clear on what type of stress is more damaging and therefore could lead to health problems in later life.

Do brain problems occur when under a small amount of stress or is it only long-term stress that affects the brain?

It is a tough question because stress is a broad term used to describe many things. The stress you experience before an exam is different from the stress of being involved in a car accident. Certainly, more stress is likely worse, and long-term even more so, says Ressler.

There are further factors that make stress more harmful:
- Unpredictable Stress
Research on animals shows that they could anticipate a stressor if receiving a shock after a light was turned on were less stressed than those receiving shocks at random. The same can be applied to humans. If a person anticipates stress it is less damaging than random stress.
- No Time Limit On Stress
If you are stressed about work or an exam, the stress you experience has an endpoint. If the stress has no endpoint, for example, chronically stressed about finances‚ it may be more challenging to cope with.
- Lack Of Support
Feeling supported during periods of stress enables a person to whether it more successfully than those who do not.

Is it time we talked about stress?

If you or someone you know would like to know more about stress management please contact us on

01803 500300 | reception@devonclinic.co.uk

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26/07/2018
Struggles to stay asleep can be draining in more than one way

If you struggle to stay asleep for the entire night you know how that can drain you both physically and mentally.

Insomnia is not uncommon these days with many struggling to fall asleep -but there are ways you can get a restful night’s sleep. Some find that their issue is remaining asleep rather than going to sleep. If this sounds like you, we have some suggestions to combat those early hour awakenings.

There are three recognised stages of sleep; deep, REM and light. Depending on when we experience each of these stages that result in us waking during those early hours.

Deep sleep tends to be the first 1-3 hours of sleep, following this we enter REM or rapid eye movement, in which we enter a lighter sleep. Typically, REM sleep comes in 90-minute cycles, this means that you are more likely to wake up at the end of a cycle.

Dr Neil, a sleep expert, says that natural sleep rhythms are to blame and that during REM stages we often find ourselves a lot more easily disturbed by our surroundings.

It is also during this stage that the likes of birds chirping, a partner snoring, a phone vibrating or the bin men will launch us into consciousness-thus making the return to slumber the most difficult. Laying in bed feeling frustrated will not aid you back into the land of nod, and it is advised that you get up to distance yourself from your bed.

“If you are still awake after 20 minutes, get up and do something like reading. When you are tired enough to sleep again, you will.” Dr Stanley

It has been revealed that sharing a bed is the biggest disruption to sleep, followed closely by the light coming through the windows in summer.

Using your screens in bed before sleep is a no-no due to the emitted blue light which affects the brain’s ability to switch off for the night.

It is not advisable to check your phone if you wake during the night.

Another key suggestion that has been proven to work is reducing the time spent in your bedroom, reserving this only for dressing and sleeping. This does also mean avoiding long lay-ins, watching television or reading the paper in bed.

The more you associate your bedroom with sleep, the more your brain will recognise that when you are in there it is time to switch off for the night.

If you or someone you know would like to discuss stress and sleeping problems please do get in touch with us.

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10/07/2018
Work Stress can have a large impact on home life
We all must deal with stress at work but, left unchecked stress can cause not only mental but physical harm to your wellbeing.

Trouble sleeping | Moodiness | not feeling yourself | headaches |chest pains | dizziness | racing heart | eating too much/too little | short temper | blurred vision | difficulty concentrating | sleepy | angry.

Sound familiar? These are all signs of stress.

If left untreated stress festers and can turn into physical symptoms, not all we easily recognise as stress-related. Stress can affect your blood pressure, create heart problems, and rapid fluctuation in moods.

Most do not need telling when they are stressed but may need direction on how to deal with it in the workplace.

There are many ways to deal with stress, some better than others, but it is always advisable to speak to someone you trust. It is time to see your doctor when you feel constantly worked up and/or if you develop physical signs such as tightening of the chest and trouble sleeping.

Common symptoms of stress include;

Tension and irritability / Fear and anxiety about the future / Difficulty making decisions / Feeling numb / Loss of interest in normal activities / Loss of appetite / Nightmares / Anger / Increased use of alcohol and drugs / Sadness / symptoms of depression / Feeling powerless / Crying / Sleep problems / Headaches/ back pains/ stomach problems / Trouble concentrating.

Top tips for self-care:

Often the best way to manage stress is to take time for yourself and indulge in a little self-care.
- Avoid the use of drugs and alcohol:
They may seem tempting or as a quick fix but in the long run, they can create more problems and increase your stress levels.
- Seek Support:
Talk to people, be it your partner, a friend, college, counsellor, doctor, therapist, anyone you feel you can trust. Having someone there with whom you can openly talk to and share can really lighten the load.
- Connect socially:
After a stressful event, it can be all too easy to isolate yourself. Make sure you are spending time with those around you. Perhaps consider planning an activity or a meet-up.
- Take care of yourself:
Ensure that you remain hydrated and eat a balanced diet. Regular exercise and rest-including sleep will help you feel better about yourself. Go for a relaxing massage as this will not only help you unwind but will also help with muscle tension.
- Keep to your routine:
A key factor in self-care is having a routine. Ensure you go to bed and get up around the same times, eat at regular intervals and allow yourself time to relax before bed in the evening. Remember routines do not have to be set in stone.
- Stay active:
Exercise is not only good for you physically but mentally too. This does not mean hitting the gym like you never have before, it can be in the form of going for a walk or spending the weekend helping a friend out. These are positive ways of coping with stress and burning off those negative feelings.
25/06/2018
My anxiety is awful for me but worse for my boyfriend

“I appreciate that he tries to understand my struggle with anxiety, but I wish he didn’t have to.”

For myself with anxiety, my boyfriend is an enigma. He drives long distances, eats expired foods, phones to order take away and goes to crowded places, all without fear. When we went to see Star Wars, the movie, the character in front of the theatre didn’t make my boyfriend think of a mass shooter. Not me. I have anxiety and it’s sometimes crippling. The very thought of one terrible thing happening on my way to work will have me frantically googling such things as ‘does invisible mould exist?’

According to the internet, it is my boyfriend that has to learn to deal with me, like I am some exotic houseplant and you are unsure how/when to water it. Plastered over millions of websites are articles admonishing the partners to be more understanding, accepting and tolerant. Statements such as “Learn everything you can about your partner’s condition,” The more you can make yourself able to have thick skin, the better it is.”

My boyfriend and I have learned to internalize these messages. He has listened, learned and adapted. Once when I freaked as to whether the meat we had cooked was safe to eat, he simply bought me a thermometer so I could check for myself. His gentle encouragement in getting me to Google less outrageous notions and his growing to understand my weird thinking patterns is much appreciated. It doesn’t make me feel better at the fact he has to learn to understand me at all.

When I do have a panic attack, it’s just about the worst thing I have ever felt regardless of that thing being no big deal at all. I do feel a sadness that my panic attacks have affected him. After one particular episode, he broke down in tears through the frustration that my brain just could allow me to enjoy myself.

It is also embarrassing. During the attack, I don’t care how I look or how ‘crazy’ I am being but after I seethe with shame. I am constantly terrified of being dramatic. One time I was on a plane, I became so scared that I started breathing into a paper bag-I don’t know why I just know I saw it once in a movie. My anxiety isn’t my fault. It is hard to see it that way when you have to leave the cinema part way through a space movie because the notion of space being that big scares you. It is also hard when I tell myself just to love my boyfriend that little bit more than I could snap out of this and make everything better for him.

Rationally thinking, I know my anxiety is part of who I am. It does affect how I treat people and how I react, and sometimes it just feels really awful. But sometimes it makes me more empathetic, like when my boyfriend/best friend is nervous or sad because I know better than most how that feels and what it takes to relieve that stressor. I don’t get mad or lose my temper when someone can’t bring themselves to do something or even talk to me about it.

My anxiety is just a part of me. I believe in therapy, meditation, medication, or whatever makes you feel more grounded. It doesn’t matter how hard I try, I will always just be an anxious person and just like any other personality trait, someone has, anxiety is just that: a train. It is something to be aware of, listen to and talk about but it is something you can live with.

People with anxiety are not a monolith. The best advice for dating an anxious person comes from that.

19/10/2016
Stress management for single parents
Single parent stress management

Single parents are known to suffer stress to a higher extent than many other sectors of society.

As a clinic we have received funding from the National Lottery to help with stress management for single parents, the funding involves
- An initial assessment
- An allergy test to determine whether you are eating foods that may contribute to stress. (optional)
- 2 full body massages (optional)
- 6 sessions of talking therapy with either our in house hypnotherapist or our clinical psychologist
We have been granted some funding from the National Lottery to enable us to run a stress management for single parents programme.

As you would expect there are lots of people that may well need the course and unfortunately the number of people we are able to see is limited.

In order to assess who will qualify there are some questions which need to be answered in the form below.

As we won’t be able to see everyone for the full programme we are also running four stress management talks which will hold up to a 100 people.

So, if you are a single parent and think you may qualify for stress management then please follow the link below to begin the process.

If you have any questions please feel free to contact us on 01803 500300
07/10/2015